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Divorce Defined

Marital bliss squeezed through the hands of a lawyer

Divorce Defined thanks to Mike King

Divorce: from an old Latin word meaning to extract a man's genitals through his wallet

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown

Lawyers are merchants of misery. - Nancy Levit

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. - John Barrymore

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. - Dalai Lama

I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters. - John Keats

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men. - Gregory E Lang

Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

You are the one who calls the law of attraction into action, and you do it through your thoughts. - Rhonda Byrne

Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. - Plato

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. - Irving R. Kaufman

Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

The question arises: whether all lawyers are the same. This is like asking whether everything that gets into a sewer is garbage. - Florynce R Kennedy

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The denial of an objective moral law based on the compulsion to deny the existence of God results ultimately in the denial of evil itself. - Ravi Zacharias

Musical innovation is full of danger to the State, for when modes of music change, the fundamental laws of the State always change with them. - Plato

A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman


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