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Don't Try This At Home

Who said we evolved from monkeys?

Don't Try This At Home thanks to Cathy Young

Monkey see, but DON'T monkey do! Still interested in our 'Adopt A Monkey' program?

QuotaBills
Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. - James Goldsmith

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

Trouble came - as trouble so often does - with a monkey. - Paul Collins

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

I'm thinking of buying a monkey. Then I think, 'Why stop at one?' - Robert Downey Jr

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people's drama, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys. - Polish Proverb

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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