Down Day

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

One hour with a child is like a ten-mile run. - Joan B. Samuelson

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan