#1 humor site on the 'net

Dragon Boots

These boots are fang-tastic!

Dragon Boots thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Boot-e-full gift for the dragon slayers in your life

QuotaBills
Europe: Next one to bat. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Uniform: Sheep's clothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always speak politely to an enraged Dragon. - Steven Brust

Vampire Bat: What Dracula uses to play baseball - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes. - Milton Berle

I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Bible

Tirade: A trip to the clothing store to steal neckwear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move. - Phyllis Diller

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

When the prison doors are opened, the real dragon will fly out. - Ho Chi Minh

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

There were dragons to slay in the old days. Nixon was a good dragon. - Pat Oliphant

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Excise: The clothes hanging in your closet that fit before the holidays. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

The most important thing about batting is getting the bat to hit the ball. - Michael Holding

Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive. - Havelock Ellis

Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back. - Criss Jami

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer - I'm a dragon irritater. - Craig Ferguson

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Armor: 1. A knight gown; 2. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves. - Phyllis Diller

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Fang says he eats a lot to settle his nerves. I said, "Have you seen where they're settling?" - Phyllis Diller

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Calories: 1. Weight lifters; 2. Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed. - G K Chesterton

Any woman who has attempted to slip a credit card into an inch-deep trouser pocket knows about the annoying puzzle of women's clothing: pockets rarely work. - Christina Binkley

Butt: Female Interpretation: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes 'look bigger'; Male Interpretation: The organ of mooning and farting. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is possible that mankind is on the threshold of a golden age; but, if so, it will be necessary first to slay the dragon that guards the door, and this dragon is religion. - Bertrand Russell

There was a young belle of old Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez;
When comment arose on the state of her clothes,
She drawled, "When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez!" - Ogden Nash

I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now? - John Lennon

Garbage: 1. Aromatic computer output; 2. A collection of refuse items, the taking out of which Mom assigns to a different family member each week, then winds up doing herself; 3. Period after the Ice Age when everyone put on clothes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?

Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree

Dream Big

Spot the Man's Head Hidden in the Coffee Beans

British Survey

Political Promise Transporter

Jam Packed Suitcase