#1 humor site on the 'net

Duck That Did Not Duck

Meeting a goose at 11,000 feet @ 185 knots can ruin your day

Duck That Did Not Duck thanks to Ken Ward

Duck That Did Not Duck thanks to Ken Ward

Duck That Did Not Duck thanks to Ken Ward

The injured pilot was able to land the aircraft (Beech Baron) safely

Duck That Did Not Duck thanks to Ken Ward

Same goose at Sea Level

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

There is no flying without wings. - French Proverb

One man's goose is another man's dander. - Archie Bunker

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air. - Johann C. F. von Schiller

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. - Michael Caine

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz


Wet Floor Caution

Chef Multitasking

Camera Waterfall

Irony Pin

Cellfies

Where Safety Begins

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Bad Ass Fire Truck

What A Deal

Moon Theft

Sushi Spine

Redneck Skateboard

Polar Bear Photographer

Friday the 13th

LadyNet

I Can Explain It

Parallel Parking Car

Frog Long Jumper's Rest Break

Road To Nowhere

Hobbit Love

Vibrations

On Short Notice

Octopi

Big Birthday Surprise