#1 humor site on the 'net

Easter Elephant Eggs

Looking for Elephant Easter Eggs this morning?

Easter Elephant Eggs thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

Exact: What eggs do on stage - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whisker: A chef who beats eggs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. - French Proverb

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

He's better at smelling rotten eggs than at laying good ones. - Unknown

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. - H L Mencken

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

I'll be down in the front row with a basket of last month's eggs. - WC Fields

Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe

Hens do cackle loudest when there's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid. - Ambrose Bierce

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky


Redneck Porch Lights

Party Frog

Cloud Computing

Mobile Phones

Hair Safety

Ice Cream Clouds

Software Cake

Rolo Mask

HoverCraft

Unspoken Signs

Ice Cone Cat

Nutcracker Suite - Chinese Version

Cell Phone Book

Pointless

Shark Steaks

Alligator Mating

Gun Exhaust

Chinese Cooking

Canadian Trap

Meal Squat

Tear-Paper Wall

Pupcakes

Restroom Signs

Dog Wallpaper