#1 humor site on the 'net

First Performance

Your child's 1st performance with bear-ly any mistakes!

First Performance thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Practicing to a captive teddy bear audience

QuotaBills
Jazz is democracy in music. - Wynton Marsalis

Music is the strongest form of magic. - Marilyn Manson

I enjoy playing the audience like a piano. - Alfred Hitchcock

Upright Piano: The noblest musical instrument - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Music is like a dream. One that I cannot hear. - Ludwig van Beethoven

Making music should not be left to the professionals. - Michelle Shocked

I you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know. - Louis Armstrong

Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable. - Samuel Johnson

Music can change the world because it can change people. - Bono

Music - what a powerful instrument, what a mighty weapon! - Maria Augusta von Trapp

Every day a piano doesn't fall on my head is good luck. - Meg Rosoff

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. - Arthur O'Shaughnessy

Don't play what's there - play what's not there. - Miles Davis

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

No one can whistle a symphony. It takes an orchestra to play it. - Halford E Luccock

If I'm going to Hell, I'm going there playing the piano. - Jerry Lee Lewis

The symphony must be like the world. It must embrace everything. - Gustav Mahler

My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence. - Edith Sitwell

Nothing is capable of being well set to music that is not nonsense. - Joseph Addison

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

There are eighty-eight keys on a piano and within that, an entire universe. - James Rhodes

Music, once admitted to the soul, becomes a sort of spirit, and never dies. - Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Sometimes I can only groan, and suffer, and pour out my despair at the piano. - Frederic Chopin

If you look deep enough you will see music; the heart of nature being everywhere music. - Thomas Carlyle

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. - Bob Hope

The only purpose for music should be the glory of God and the re-creation of the human spirit. - Johann Sebastian Bach

It is simply my life, music. I live it, breathe it, talk with it. I am almost unconscious of it. - Arthur Rubinstein

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. - Maya Angelou

A hundred years from now, people will listen to the music of the Beatles the same way we listen to Mozart. - Paul McCartney

If Music is a Place - then Jazz is the City, Folk is the Wilderness, Rock is the Road, Classical is a Temple. - Vera Nazarian

Music is by far the most wonderful method we have to remind us each day of the power of personal accomplishment. - Chris S Salazar

There is music in the air, music all around us; the world is full of it, and you simply take as much as you require. - Edward Elgar

Look inside. That way lies dancing to the melodies spun out by your own heart. This is a symphony. All the rest are jingles. - Anna Quindlen

To live is to be musical, starting with the blood dancing in your veins. Everything living has a rhythm. Do you feel your music? - Michael Jackson

Music is the great uniter. An incredible force. Something that people who differ on everything and anything else can have in common. - Sarah Dessen

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

I love power. But it is as an artist that I love it. I love it as a musician loves his violin, to draw out its sounds and chords and harmonies. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato


Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind

Military Watch Tower

No Go Intersection

Public Transportation In Scotland

Guarded Nights

Financial Meltdown

Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test