#1 humor site on the 'net

Fish Diet

A bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work

Fish Diet thanks to Cherei McCarter

Proof of diminishing returns in Port Aransas, Texas

When other fish sea your sea-food
QuotaBills
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

The dieting wars have got to stop. - Lady Gaga

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Net Worth: Measurement of a fisherman's wealth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

We are all sculptors and painters, and our material is our own flesh and bones. - Henry David Thoreau

The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. - William Shakespeare

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another. - Frank Dobie

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You reached into my soul and rearranged the position of my bones,
You rebuilt my rib cage so your heart could be home. - Unknown

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made

Ups and Downs

Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Abbey Road Joe-kster and Bernie

Straws

Chernobyl Fish