#1 humor site on the 'net

Frozen Stop Sign

How can you run a Stop Sign that you can't see?

Frozen Stop Sign thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Handkerchief: Cold storage - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ice Cream: What I do when scared - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Never underestimate the value of cold cash. - Gregory Nunn

Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything. - Billy Graham

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Necrophilia: The uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Individuals who act too 'cool' often freeze under pressure. - Unknown

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Grantartica: The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called