#1 humor site on the 'net

Gateway To Obesity

Great American Landmarks

Gateway To Obesity thanks to Irvin Kauffman

QuotaBills
The healthy die first. - Italian Proverb

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Reform: To gain or lose weight - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. - Unknown

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset, my diet goes out the window. - Kelly Osbourne

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

I believe that how you feel is very important to how you look - that healthy equals beautiful. - Victoria Principal

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega


Mandeville Mascot

Morning After Dog

Thanks Granny

Redneck Hands-Free Driving

No Passing Lanes

One-Knight Stands

Live Long Street

Texas Car Wash

1934 Modern Home

Breakfast Cupcakes

Microsoft Messenger - Prototype

Five Firm Brakes Tire

Dark Side Bus Stop

Only in Las Vegas

Sailing Duck

Redneck Stairs

Computer Challenged

1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Game Car