#1 humor site on the 'net

Hair Growth - a Sign of the Times

How to turn water into de-vine

Hair Growth - a Sign of the Times thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
A wig is a wig is a wig. - Billy Zane

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. - Oliver Herford

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Yale: 1. A well known Ivy League university; 2. What southern cheerleaders do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro


New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day