#1 humor site on the 'net

Happy Hour Bike Club

'Hop' on to a Beer Buggy near you!

Happy Hour Bike Club thanks to Cherei McCarter

QuotaBills
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Casablanca

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks

Benadryl Cumquat

In It For The Long Haul

Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List

Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick

Boneless Bananas

That's My Bed

Eye For Coffee

Logging Moose

Firemen's Revenge

Just In Thyme

Kapalua Resort - The Plantation Course

Alberta Hood Ornament

Outside Urinal

Fixer-Uppers