High Heel Diver

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

Finding your style is like putting puzzle pieces together. - Lara Spencer

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. - Kathy Lette

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. - Sam Brown

Women should not have children after 35. Really? 35 children is enough. - Bill Murray

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel. - George Bernard Shaw

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent

Forgiveness is the fragrance the flower leaves on the heel of the one who crushed it. - David Jeremiah

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Except for a few guitar chords, everything I've learned in my life that is of any value I've learned from women. - Glenn Frey

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer