#1 humor site on the 'net

House Appraisal

What is your home worth? Here's a quick evaluation guide!

Your house as seen by...
House Appraisal thanks to Wally Zatylny

Yourself

House Appraisal thanks to Wally Zatylny

Your Buyer

House Appraisal thanks to Wally Zatylny

Your Lender

House Appraisal thanks to Wally Zatylny

Your Appraiser

House Appraisal thanks to Wally Zatylny

Your Tax Assessor

QuotaBills
Going to the woods is going home. - John Muir

Peace - that was the other name for home. - Kathleen Norris

Wherever you are is my home - my only home. - Charlotte Bronte

A house divided against itself cannot stand. - Abraham Lincoln

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

What's the need of a home if you are never in it? - George Grossmith

Traveling in the company of those we love is home in motion. - Leigh Hunt

One road leads home and a thousand roads lead into the wilderness. - C S Lewis

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Don't ya know it's bad luck to keep icrons in a Christian home? - Archie Bunker

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

That's the best part of going away for a vacation - coming home again. - Madeleine L'Engle

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

Census Taker: A man who goes from house to house increasing the population. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

Mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heart throb. - Leroy Brownlow

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need. - Sarah B Breathnach

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus

The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. - Maya Angelou

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. - Quentin Crisp

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare


Europe Road Trip

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage