#1 humor site on the 'net

Hyphenated Names

Would you choose to be a Poore-Sapp or a Beaver-Wetter?

Hyphenated Names thanks to Cathy Young

Hyphenated Names thanks to Cathy Young

Hyphenated Names thanks to Cathy Young

Hyphenated Names thanks to Cathy Young

Hyphenated Names thanks to Cathy Young

Hyphenated Names thanks to Cathy Young

Hyphenated Names thanks to Cathy Young

Hyphenated Names thanks to Cathy Young

Hyphenated Names thanks to Cathy Young

Hyphenated Names thanks to Cathy Young

QuotaBills
Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb

Here are some names to look forward to - perhaps in the future. - David Coleman

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

I met so many people. I don't even know some of my friends' names. - Paris Hilton

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them. - Arnold Palmer

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland


Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made

Ups and Downs

Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Abbey Road Joe-kster and Bernie

Straws

Chernobyl Fish