#1 humor site on the 'net

It's A Cracker

People from Down Under & the U.K. think this is hilarious

It's A Cracker thanks to Bryan Harrap

QuotaBills
Laugh it up, Fuzz ball. - Han Solo

Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle

It's a funny old world. - Margaret Thatcher

Comedy is tragedy plus time. - Carol Burnett

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

Living Happily Ever Laughter! - Joe-kster

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

A joke's a very serious thing. - Charles Churchill

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

When the age is in, the wit is out. - William Shakespeare

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live. - Milton Berle

A rich man's joke is always funny. - Thomas Edward Brown

A day without laughter is a day wasted. - Charlie Chaplin

For every laugh there should be a tear. - Walt Disney

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. - Mark Twain

When humor goes, there goes civilization. - Erma Bombeck

The only real laughter comes from despair. - Groucho Marx

I would rather be called funny than pretty. - Nia Vardalos

Life in 2019: Living Happily Ever Laughter! - Joe-kster

Wit is an explosion of the compound spirit. - Karl W.F. Schlegel

The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow. - H G Wells

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died. - Peter Ustinov

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

Make fun of menopause - laugh your flash off! - Kathy Cagney

Laugh at yourself first before anyone else can. - Elsa Maxwell

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. - Larry Gelbart

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

Comedy is society protecting itself - with a smile. - J.B. Priestley

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them. - Moliere

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

Mountains aren't just funny. They are hill areas. - Unknown

You have a ready wit. Let me know when it's ready. - Henny Youngman

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. - Jay Leno

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. - Tina Fey

Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche. - Stephen Colbert

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

Menopause: you have to laugh or you'll end up crying. - Missa Says

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

You can't be funny if you don't have good material. - Matt LeBlanc

It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools. - Spanish Proverb

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

Tell me what you laugh at, and I'll tell you who you are. - Marcel Pagnol

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. - Voltaire

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

Isn't it funny that anything the Supreme Court says is right? - Robert Frost

The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense. - Jacob Riis

Laugh and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone. - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off. - Unknown

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. - Charlie Chaplin

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. - Dr. Seuss

Wit is the rarest quality to be met with among people of education. - William Hazlitt

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. - William Arthur Ward

The scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. - Michael J. Fox

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. - La Bruyere

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society. - William Thackeray

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. - Langston Hughes

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there. - Martin Luther

What a fine comedy this world would be if one did not play a part in it. - Denis Diderot

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. - Ernest Hemingway

Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter. - Joseph Addison

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor. - Bernard Williams

If the cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been different. - Oscar Wilde

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance. - W Somerset Maugham

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw

My way of joe-king is telling the truth; that is the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

Blessed is the man who can laugh at himself, for he will never cease to be amused. - Proverb

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. - Thomas Szasz

Comedy's a funny game, it's not a job, it's a vocation - you never stop. - Eric Sykes

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused. - Unknown

One can never speak enough of the virtues, the dangers, the power of shared laughter. - Francoise Sagan

I want someone who can keep me on my toes, has a good sense of humor and a good heart. - Carmen Electra

You don't have to teach people to be funny, you only have to give them permission. - Harvey Mindess

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost

There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they laugh at. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If evil be said of thee, and if it be true, correct thyself; if it be a lie, laugh at it. - Epictetus

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool. - George Santayana

I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor. - Peter Segal

Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny. - Kathryn Carpenter

Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

One should take good care not to grow too wise for so great a pleasure of life as laughter. - Joseph Addison

When I first said I wanted to be a comedian, everyone laughed. They're not laughing now. - Bob Monkhouse

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. - E.B. White

Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained. - John Powell

The joke was lost on the foreigner - guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. - Mark Twain

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one. - Oscar Wilde

Transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, even humor, work in businesses at all times. - John Gerzema

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either. - Golda Meir

You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it. - Allen Klein

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. - Bob Newhart

Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor. - Unknown

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. - George Saunders

It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. - W Somerset Maugham

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. - Palladas

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. - Bob Hope

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humor. - Ralph Inge

I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. - Anne W. Schaef

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. - Audrey Hepburn

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool. - Jonathan Swift

We are in the world to laugh. In purgatory or in hell we shall no longer be able to do so. And in heaven it would not be proper. - Jules Renard

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

She raised us with humor, and she raised us to understand that not everything was going to be great, but how to laugh through it. - Liza Minnelli

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. - Bert Williams

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - W H Auden

No one has timing like Milton Berle. He has absolutely the finest timing of any comedian in the business. There's no one like him. - Sid Caesar

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

There is not less wit, not less invention, in applying rightly a thought one finds in a book, than in being the first author of that book. - Pierre Boyle

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved. - J. Russell Lynes


If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow

Target Entry