New Deer Rifle
Sighting in your expensive new deer rifle
1. Shiny new, high-powered deer rifle... $1,200
2. Quality, high-powered scope... $550
3. Bore sighting device... $140
4. Hospital Visit... $4,893
5. Forgetting to remove the bore sighting device prior to shooting?
Priceless!
Deer 1 Hunter 0
GAME OVER
QuotaBillsA wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson
Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns
Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde
You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx
I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt
Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin
Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown
When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi
Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey
Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder
Problem solving is hunting. It is savage pleasure and we are born to it. - Thomas Harris
If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler
To hunt successfully, you must know your ground, your pack, and your quarry. - K J Parker
Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez
Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant
An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II
In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas
A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be. - Fred Bear
Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna
Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx
In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy
You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup
I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse
I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan
When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow