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New Deer Rifle

Sighting in your expensive new deer rifle

1. Shiny new, high-powered deer rifle... $1,200
2. Quality, high-powered scope... $550
3. Bore sighting device... $140
4. Hospital Visit... $4,893
5. Forgetting to remove the bore sighting device prior to shooting?
Priceless!
Deer 1 Hunter 0
GAME OVER
New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

QuotaBills
Hunters do it with a big bang. - Unknown

A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

He who has no falcon must hunt with an owl. - Danish Proverb

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Head Hunter: The person to see if you have lost your head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Diploma: 1. Da man dat fixes your pipes; 2. A job-hunting license. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be. - Fred Bear

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan


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