No Service

Dinner is poured. - WC Fields

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Room service? Send up a larger room. - Groucho Marx

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. - H.S. Leigh

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Out for lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also. - Unknown

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left. - Robert Byrne

Her face looked like something on the menu in a seafood restaurant. - Woody Allen

When all you've got is a hammer, bad service looks like a nail. - Doc Searls

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. - Oscar Wilde

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. - Mahatma Gandhi

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

The real test of your character is your treatment of those who can be of no possible service to you. - Unknown

Not everybody can be famous. But everybody can be great, because greatness is determined by service. - Martin Luther King Jr.

In this age, the man who dares to think for himself and to act independently does a service to his race. - John Stuart Mill

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

When you inhale, you are taking the strength from God. When you exhale, it represents the service you are giving to the world. - B.K. Iyengar

Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline. - Harvey Mackay

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump