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Politician Training

How to become a politician & fleece your consituents

Politician Training thanks to Ken Ward

New ethics training for politicians baaaaa-d for morale

QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Government cannot and must not replace private initiative. - Kim Campbell

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. - Earl Wilson

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

People want change but not too much change. Finding that balance is tricky for every politician. - Eleanor Clift

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political view. - Margaret Atwood

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


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