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Politician Training

How to become a politician & fleece your consituents

Politician Training thanks to Ken Ward

New ethics training for politicians baaaaa-d for morale

QuotaBills
Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

To deceive a diplomat speak the truth, he has no experience with it. - Greek Proverb

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

Ultimatum: In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible. - Dan Quayle

Being a politician is a poor profession. Being a public servant is a noble one. - Herbert C Hoover

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one. - Thomas Paine

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Harold MacMillan is a very intelligent man, who, as so often happens in politics, achieved supreme power too late. - Malcolm Muggeridge

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

We're at a point in history where everyone needs to pay attention to politics. Too much is at stake for us to be apathetic. - Kevin Costner

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov


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