Redneck Neighborhood Watch

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

Silence is the ultimate weapon of power. - Charles de Gaulle

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Absence, and a friendly neighbor, washeth away love. - English Proverb

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

I am proud of the fact that I never invented weapons to kill. - Thomas Edison

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. - Nelson Mandela

Satellite imagery is the only way we can map the looting patterns effectively. - Sarah Parcak

It is much easier to imagine ghastly new biological weapons than to create them. - Andrew Pollack

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant

A man is selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor's. - Richard Whately

A world without nuclear weapons would be less stable and more dangerous for all of us. - Margaret Thatcher

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks. - Marcus Aurelius

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed. - Joseph Stalin

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

You could say that the paparazzi and the tabloids are sort of the assault weapons of the First Amendment. - Charlton Heston

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. - Frank Lloyd Wright

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket, nor breaks my leg. - Thomas Jefferson

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway

Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We're afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button. - Zeena Schreck