Redneck Porch Hunter

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Problem solving is hunting. It is savage pleasure and we are born to it. - Thomas Harris

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

If the hunter comes back with mushrooms, don't ask him how his hunt was. - Ghanaian Proverb

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway