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The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children. - George Burns

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. - Jack London

If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much. - Marian W. Edelman

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. - David Brenner

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us. - Golda Meir

What can we make of the inexpressible joy of children? It is a kind of gratitude. - Annie Dillard

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. - Unknown

Kidnap: 1. Something that a young child takes when tired; 2. When a baby goat sleeps. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

If the loss of shame was the child of secularization, the loss of reason is the child of pluralization. - Ravi Zacharias

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

The child should gain no request by anger; when he is quiet let him be offered what was refused when he wept. - Seneca

Teamwork makes the dream work, but a vision becomes a nightmare when the leader has a big dream and a bad team. - John C Maxwell

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed. - G K Chesterton

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


Lunch Break

Digging One's Own Grave

See The Difference?

Gas and Dash

OctoMask

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Workplace Hazards in Tasmania

Tiger On A Roll

Men's Golf Rules

Where Did He Go?

Sudden Invented Syndrome

Calculus Drinks

Lights, Camera, Overreaction

Rebar Walker

Leading The Way

Melted Dog

Painful Ballet

Welder's Last Stand

My Life Goal

1-800-PILLCASH

Ghetto Boat

Hungry Hiker Tree

Redneck Roof

My Last Swim In The Ocean