Santa Cats
We five cats of orient are...
QuotaBillsA meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb
All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb
After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb
When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying
Cataract: Where cats hang their coats. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker
Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan
When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown
Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey
I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson
The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright