Some People Raise Children

Children make your life important. - Erma Bombeck

I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. - Mark Twain

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Little children, little sorrows; big children, great sorrows. - Danish Proverb

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

We do not inherit the earth from our parents. We borrow it from our children. - Unknown

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. - H. Jackson Brown

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. - Phyllis Diller

Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. - Unknown

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

If he don't go calling the cops “pigs” or one of those other epilets, he'll be all right. - Archie Bunker

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it. - Mona Crane

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - Paula Poundstone

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

We've got to work to save our children and do it with full respect for the fact that if we do not, no one else is going to do it. - Dorothy Height

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales. - Albert Einstein

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller