Some People Raise Children

In a pig's dye - Archie Bunker

Old men are twice children. - Greek Proverb

I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

Children are poor people's riches. - Unknown

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. - Haim Ginott

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Pigs had just officially sprouted wings and were flying alongside airplanes. - Jennifer L Armentrout

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are so very mean. - Zach Galifianakis

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. - Unknown

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. - Napoleon Hill

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. - Alex Haley

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. - Agatha Trunchbull

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them. - Antoine de Saint-Expurey

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller