Spot the Thief

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The crime of loving is forgetting. - Maurice Chevalier

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

He who has reaped the profits has committed the crime. - Seneca

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell