#1 humor site on the 'net

Stretch Limo

Bubba's new Redneck Rebar truck - a truck weld-done!

Stretch Limo thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How to lower your gas mileage

QuotaBills
I eat less, stretch, and work out. - Ted Danson

Vanguard: A person who protects trucks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yacht: 1. A floating debt; 2. Stretch limo of the seas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What is really a stretch to me is to make quick decisions. - Ang Lee

A physical therapist does some unbelievable stretching with me. - Brian O'Driscoll

I'm not a passive person by any stretch of the imagination. - Courteney Cox

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning. - R.L. Stine

LAN: To borrow as in, 'Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck.'” - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pickup artist: An artist whose specialty is painting pictures of trucks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I see religion more as a truck stop on your way to figuring out who you are. - Brad Pitt

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham

Gaming goes in trends, and for a bit of a too-long stretch, it focused on huge productions. - Markus Persson

A good role is something that will stretch your abilities and make you go beyond your levels. - Jennifer Winget

Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own. - Charles Scribner

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Make big pots of soups, stews and chilis, they stretch a buck, and you can live off them for days. - Rachael Ray

Success is due to our stretching to the challenges of life. Failure comes when we shrink from them. - John C Maxwell

The hallmark of successful people is that they are always stretching themselves to learn new things. - Carol S Dweck

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

Unlucky: Crossing the street to avoid walking under a ladder and getting hit by a truck full of horseshoes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Truck Driver: 1. A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people; 2. A guy who goes the route. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds. - Wayne Dyer

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

It would be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further tan the next wisecrack. - Katharine Hepburn

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason. - Jimmy Fallon

Often my best work comes from somebody trying to stretch me in a direction that I wouldn't normally want to go in. - Alan Menken

When you're stretching yourself, as a role like 'Blue Jasmine' did for me, you risk falling flat on your face. - Cate Blanchett

I've had a very good stretch with startup investing, and I think it's very important to know when to hold your chips. - Tim Ferriss

It is good to be tired and wearied by the futile search after the true good, that we may stretch out our arms to the Redeemer. - Blaise Pascal

Delegating doesn't mean passing off work you don't enjoy, but letting your employees stretch their skills and judgment. - Harvey Mackay

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Jawjuh: (Southern) A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Condemn none: if you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way. - Swami Vivekananda

Schools must stop being holding pens to keep energetic young people off the job market and off the streets. We stretch puberty out a long, long time. - Toni Morrison

Traveling the world was a constant thing, rich with experiences. But all of it was relative to being able to play live onstage and really stretch out. - Jimmy Page


Tree Removal

Happy Billionaire Halloween

Almost Done

Halloween Transformers

Latte Defined

Bush Zombie

Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated

Cutting Off Board

Eat Your Dinner!

Hormone Guide

Gun Laws

Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement

Wolfermelon

Car Axident

Centipede Pumpkin

Hiding Horse

How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer

Bourbon Shampoo

Goat Bike

Food Art

Rednecks At Play

She's A Keeper

Algebra Relationship

Pumpkin Races