#1 humor site on the 'net

Stretch Limo

Bubba's new Redneck Rebar truck - a truck weld-done!

Stretch Limo thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How to lower your gas mileage

QuotaBills
I love stretching myself musically. - Liz Phair

I like to stretch my acting muscles. - Samantha Morton

A roof stretching over the Atlantic Ocean. - Ernest Bevin

I do some weights and I do a lot of stretching. - Mike Ditka

I hardly ever stretch the canvas before painting. - Jackson Pollock

One more stage, one more limo, one more run for your life. - John Lennon

A physical therapist does some unbelievable stretching with me. - Brian O'Driscoll

I'm not a passive person by any stretch of the imagination. - Courteney Cox

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. - Jackie Mason

I see religion more as a truck stop on your way to figuring out who you are. - Brad Pitt

The beauty is that people often come here for the stretch, and leave with a lot more. - Liza Ciano

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham

A good role is something that will stretch your abilities and make you go beyond your levels. - Jennifer Winget

Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own. - Charles Scribner

The hallmark of successful people is that they are always stretching themselves to learn new things. - Carol S Dweck

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights. - Pauline R. Kezer

I'm a chameleon when it come to guitar playing, and like to stretch out into different territories. - Nancy Wilson

I've always loved yoga because you get to connect to a deep religious truth while stretching your legs. - Katya Zamolodchikova

What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds. - Wayne Dyer

Every video I'm in, every magazine cover, they stretch you, they make you perfect. It's not real life. - Lady Gaga

My job is not to make decisions but to set stretch objectives and help our managers work out how to reach them. - Sergio Marchionne

It would be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further tan the next wisecrack. - Katharine Hepburn

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason. - Jimmy Fallon

Often my best work comes from somebody trying to stretch me in a direction that I wouldn't normally want to go in. - Alan Menken

This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey

Toy Soldiers was my introduction to film. I certainly didn't think I was doing art by any stretch of the imagination. - Tim Robbins

I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political view. - Margaret Atwood

Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? - Carol Burnett

I've had a very good stretch with startup investing, and I think it's very important to know when to hold your chips. - Tim Ferriss

It's the generally accepted privilege of theologians to stretch the heavens, that is the Scriptures, like tanners with a hide. - Desiderius Erasmus

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch

Stretching the capabilities of my imagination is a crucial aspect of writing fiction; you could think of it as a mental form of athleticism. - Julia Glass

Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families. - Tim Allen

Every job I do, I like to think it makes me better, or I learn things. It's all about how much something's going to stretch me or test me. - Daniel Radcliffe

Traveling the world was a constant thing, rich with experiences. But all of it was relative to being able to play live onstage and really stretch out. - Jimmy Page


Drink, Don't Drive!

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade

Chicago Politics

BigFoot Caught On Tape

Bookstore Entrance

Computer Detergent

Covid-Friendly Smoker Hood

Ethiopian Math

Batman Equation

a real Bald Eagle

The Meaning Of Life

Back To The Fuchsia

Horse Mane Macrame

Out Of Estrogen - Make My Day

Staff Communications

Sew It Seams

Muslim Camel

Sister DNA

Join The Resistance

Rabbi Road

Vatican Chess

Pentecost Sunday

Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs

Organ Donor