Ukrainian Cattle Car

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle. - Alfred Hitchcock

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright