Water Taxi

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Oil is drowning our oceans and drowning our boreal forests. - Winona LaDuke

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

It becomes increasingly easy, as you get older, to drown in nostalgia. - Ted Koppel

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He,
amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. - Martin Luther

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson