#1 humor site on the 'net

Water Taxi

Don't let a flood drown your business!

Water Taxi thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Hydroplaning is this guy's specialty

QuotaBills
Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He,
amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. - Martin Luther

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Bach Flip

Apathy Mountain

Solemate

Double Vision

Please Help My Car

Adultery

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Moses' USB Tablets

Virus Update

Carnations vs. Roses

Waterproof Notepad

Sudoku Cats

Harlie's Angel

Ladder Load

Road To Nowhere

Bartender Mechanic

Promote Yourself

Noteable Bartender

Microsoft Innovation

Complaint Jar

First Selfie

Leave My Drink Alone

Great Scott!

Golden End of the Rainbow