Wedding Invitation

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

Love is an engraved invitation to grief. - Sunshine O'Donnell

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement. - Oscar Wilde

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf