#1 humor site on the 'net

World's Ugliest Dog

Only in New Jersey can ugly be beautiful

[JP News]  2-year-old Chinese Crested & Chihuahua mix dog “Elwood” won the title of “World's Ugliest Dog of 2007” at the World’s Ugliest Dog Contest, held June 22, 2007, in Petaluma, Calif. Elwood weighs in at 6 lbs and was rescued as the result of a New Jersey SPCA investigation. Dark colored and hairless (save for a mohawk-like puff of white fur on his head), Elwood is often referred to as “Yoda,” or “ET” for his resemblance to those Star Wars characters.
World's Ugliest Dog thanks to Barbara Sylvester

World's Ugliest Dog thanks to Barbara Sylvester

World's Ugliest Dog thanks to Barbara Sylvester

World's Ugliest Dog thanks to Barbara Sylvester

Say hello to Grimmy - an American Kennel Club Brussels Griffon

QuotaBills
Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Nobody's sweetheart is ugly. - Dutch Proverb

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

To the artist there is never anything ugly in nature. - August Rodin

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do not read beauty magazines. They only make you feel ugly. - Mary Schmich

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Never pick a fight with ugly people - they've got nothing to lose. - Robin Williams

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Winston Churchill

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But it is better to be good than to be ugly. - Oscar Wilde

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Ugly animals have it rough. We're more likely to eat them or let them go extinct, and less likely to adopt them from animal shelters. - Joshua A Krisch


Prehistoric Flash Drive

Mouse Revenge

Young Who Suffer

Stray Cat

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Forest Guardian

Sing It Out

UPS and DOWNS

Good Luck Angel

Hosanna in Excel Sheets

British Kingdom

Dance With Me

Mouse Trick

Black Friday Scam

Pianist's Challenge

Economy Flight

Diamond Ring TP

Water Transformer Hazard

Office Irony

Covid Vaccine Testing

The Hills Are Closed

Temperature Tax

Social Distancing Shoes

Carpet Diet