#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby's Off Day

Why does everything always happen to me?

Baby's Off Day thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

I don't like the crying. - Donald Trump

A good cry lightens the heart. - Yiddish Proverb

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Find a shoulder to cry on, but not just any shoulder. - Lewis Schiff

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Symptoms, then are in reality nothing but the cry from suffering organs. - Jean-Martin Charcot

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. - Will Rogers

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints - the sinners are much more fun. - Billy Joel

I want to break something, or hit something, but I am afraid to move, so I start crying instead. - Veronica Roth

Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Cry, and you're probably watching the wrong channel. - Groucho Marx

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours. - Eric Idle

If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars. - Rabindranath Tagore

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes. - Unknown

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


Hoodie Onesy

BUSker

Monsoon TV

Worked For Them

Colon Celery

Hot Tub Cover

Piano Dress

Parking Guide

Apology to Potential Criminals

Before Morning Coffee

Sons Of Arthritis

Challenge Accepted

Subway Camouflage

In Stitches

Great White

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Can I Lick It

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Velociraptor Defined

Redneck Muffler Repair

Drama Queen Diary

He Looks Just Like His Father!

Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience