#1 humor site on the 'net

Bent Baby

Baby On Board or Baby On Bored?

Bent Baby thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How not to take your baby for a stroll

Bent Baby thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Success is the child of audacity. - Benjamin Disraeli

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

One hour with a child is like a ten-mile run. - Joan B. Samuelson

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back. - John Ruskin

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world. - Malala Yousafzai

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. - Unknown

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

Four very powerful words to say to your child: "I believe in you." - Kevin Heath

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Vasectomy: 1. Never having to say you're sorry; 2. Spoil the rod. Spare the child. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I see my granddaughters make small discoveries of their own, I wish I were a child. - Dr. Seuss

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. - Jean Piaget

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. - Bradley Miller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

The child should gain no request by anger; when he is quiet let him be offered what was refused when he wept. - Seneca

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. - Mary Pickford

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Why You Shouldn't Let Your Dog Drink Beer

Reflection

Plane Tennis

New IRS Form

Wisconsin Cheese

MAGA King

Baby Formula

When Gas Costs Too Much

Shoemobile

Salmon Street

Pandemic Treaty

People Of The River

SUV Sinkhole

Hope

Blonde's 710 Cover

Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip