#1 humor site on the 'net

Bent Baby

Baby On Board or Baby On Bored?

Bent Baby thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How not to take your baby for a stroll

Bent Baby thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
It takes a whole village to raise a child. - African Proverb

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye. - Helen Keller

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. - African Proverb

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul. - Friedrich Frobel

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan


Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone

My Time

Algebra Relationship

Mask Shortage

Exit Not Found

Early Shave

Dementia Purse

Quarantine Response

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt

Statue Tug Of War

Kiosk Hours

Tight Fit

Life Is Beautiful

Buddha Pear

Yes!

Sunday Service Social Distancing

Mannequin Pointer

Life's Choices