Bent Baby

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Success is the child of audacity. - Benjamin Disraeli

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye. - Helen Keller

Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

The child should gain no request by anger; when he is quiet let him be offered what was refused when he wept. - Seneca

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul. - Friedrich Frobel

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan