QuotaBillsCamouflage: Wise guise. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Absentee: A missing golfing peg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse
Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown
Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown
Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown
Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones
One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump