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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. - Phyllis Diller

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

I am not into working out. My philosophy: no pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

Middle age is when you are not inclined to exercise anything but caution. - Arthur Murray

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

One cannot spend one's entire life running into bathrooms when danger calls! - Reif Larsen

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Fashion is gentility running away from vulgarity, and afraid of being overtaken. - William Hazlitt

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. - Will Rogers

Crochet: An exercise that gives women something to think about when they are talking - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. - Brene Brown

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. - Bill Copeland

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt. - Bono


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