#1 humor site on the 'net

Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. - Phyllis Diller

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert Hutchins

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

It isn't failing that spells one's downfall; it's running away, giving up. - Michel Greco

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up if thou wilt ever dig. - Marcus Aurelius

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

There is no impossibility to him who stands prepared to conquer every hazard. The fearful are the failing. - Sarah J. Hale

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. - Bill Copeland

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I've seen so many young men over the years who think they're running at other young men. They are not. They are running at me. - Markus Zusak


Fire Distinguisher

An Apple A Day

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Redneck Book Holder

Cold Canada Winter

Snow Reservations

Must Catch Pokemon

Flat-Earthers

Boy Scout Scooter

COLD Fairbanks

Diet Hard

The Bicycle Tree of Vashon Island

Commemorative Pistol

Rad Cat - Curled Up Cat Nap

A Dog's Worst Nightmare

Bike Park - Where'd It Go?

Yoga Man

Dog Walking For a Healthy Lifestyle

Outhouse Bike

Ice Cone Cat

Disciple Golf Day

Invisible Patient

Buy One Get One Free

Little Drinker