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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

I'm into fitness: Fit'ness whole donut in my mouth. - Unknown

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

What is the use of running when we are not on the right road? - German Proverb

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert Hutchins

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

I live in California, so I do stand-up paddle board, which is a killer workout. - Ashley Wagner

One cannot spend one's entire life running into bathrooms when danger calls! - Reif Larsen

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

It was amazing I won. I was running against peace and prosperity and incumbency. - George W. Bush

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. - Will Rogers

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"? - George Carlin

It isn't failing that spells one's downfall; it's running away, giving up. - Michel Greco

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still. - Mignon McLaughlin

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up if thou wilt ever dig. - Marcus Aurelius

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I've seen so many young men over the years who think they're running at other young men. They are not. They are running at me. - Markus Zusak


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