QuotaBillsA turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga
I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon
Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou
Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman
One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger
Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon