Christmas Thrones

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon