#1 humor site on the 'net

Computerholic

Root-bound computer programming - online branch office

Computerholic thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Root-ing around for the best humour at joe-ks.com

QuotaBills
The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins

Storms make the oak take deeper root. - George Herbert

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

The deep roots never doubt spring will come. - Marty Rubin

Square Root: 1. Diced carrot; 2. Diced turnip. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light. - Theodore Roethke

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree. - Unknown

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. - Soren Kierkegaard

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

If you plant yourself in one place and let your roots grow deep, there is no limit to what God can do. - Mark Batterson

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Geometry: 1. What the acorn said after it grew up; 2. A tree made up of numbers and letters; 3. Without geometry, life is pointless. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash


Redneck Stairs

Computer Challenged

1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Game Car

Overloaded Mailbox

Redneck Phone

Enjoy Fresh Air

Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example

Wired For Coffee

Cadillac Bike