#1 humor site on the 'net

Computerholic

Root-bound computer programming - online branch office

Computerholic thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Root-ing around for the best humour at joe-ks.com

QuotaBills
By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins

The root of suffering is attachment. - Buddha

Storms make the oak take deeper root. - George Herbert

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. - Hodding S. Carter

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses. - Francis Bacon

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

The words 'figure' and 'fictitious' both derive from the same Latin root, 'fingere.' Beware! - M.J. Moroney

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Sun Tan Sales

Ice Age Cake

Wailea Splendour

Me No Study

Peter Cotton Ale

Social Distancing Champ

GPS Directions

Secret Exit

Clippendales

Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone

My Time

Algebra Relationship

Mask Shortage

Exit Not Found

Early Shave

Dementia Purse

Quarantine Response

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt