#1 humor site on the 'net

Country Cookin'

Make sure you don't give one of our burgers to the horse!

Country Cookin' thanks to Bill Carter

1st McDon’s take-out in Romania

Before Chicken McNuggets came Horse Cookies

QuotaBills
Mayor: A he-horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nag: A woman with no horse sense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Reindeer: A horse with a hat rack - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Install: Where you keep your horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley

Stabilized: A horse that's been locked in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Centaur: A man with a horse where his pants ought to be - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

Horsepower: A power which has put the horse out of business - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are seldom aware of what's cooking until the pot boils over. - Amish Saying

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

BP: Company in Gulf of Mexico that turns your barbecue into a tarbecue. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unicorn: 1. A single blemish on the foot; 2. A horse with a point of view. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dude Ranch: Where a guy who is rich enough to drive a Cadillac rides a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

You know you're getting old when your idea of a hot, flaming desire is a barbecued steak. - Victoria Fabiano

Good Secretary: A stenographer who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Fawn Of You

Swimming in the Dead Sea

Redneck Beer Stacker

Hot Summer Days

mIndians

Mouthful Of Information

Happy Face Sandwich

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

'Pier' Pressure

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake