#1 humor site on the 'net

CPU Marshmallows

For the computer with lots of byte

CPU Marshmallows thanks to Bill Fast

QuotaBills
The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

A bore is a person who lights up the room simply by leaving it. - L.J. Peter

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash


Umbrella For Two

Sink Drinker

Pilot Lounge

Pedal Operated Washing Machine

Just Chillin' Out

Bee Prepared

Work Siesta

Cold Books

Zebra Keyboard

Sing It Out

Cold One

Cheerful Trees

Rooftop Steps

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Nemo Found at Japanese Sushi Bar

Painting The Center Line

Kitchen Recycling

Work Not

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Car-nage

Noah's 2021 Ark

First Dodge Ram

Redneck Wedding Limo

Commas Save Lives