Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook
If she hasn't yet, she soon will...
Secrets of the Serengeti Grill
'Patience is required when hunting humans. If you harvest them at the wrong time they taste like crap.'
QuotaBillsAsphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Daniel: The founder of the Lions Club - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets
Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown
Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown
Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb
Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. - Walter Winchell
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson
An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb
Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II
Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher
Rectitude: The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule
I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw
Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay