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Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook

If she hasn't yet, she soon will...

Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook thanks to Roy Taylor

Secrets of the Serengeti Grill

'Patience is required when hunting humans. If you harvest them at the wrong time they taste like crap.'

QuotaBills
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Daniel: The founder of the Lions Club - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Rise and rise again until lambs become lions. - Robin Hood

March came in like a lion and went out like a ham. - Frank Nugent

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

He has diarrhoea of words and a constipation of ideas. - Unknown

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

The lion is ashamed, it's true, when he hunts with the fox. - Gotthold E. Lessing

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Sharks are the lions of the sea. They glamorize the oceanic glory. - Munia Khan

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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