Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook

Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Daniel: The founder of the Lions Club - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. - Walter Winchell

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

Rectitude: The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay