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Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook

If she hasn't yet, she soon will...

Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook thanks to Roy Taylor

Secrets of the Serengeti Grill

'Patience is required when hunting humans. If you harvest them at the wrong time they taste like crap.'
QuotaBills
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Daniel: The founder of the Lions Club - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

He has diarrhoea of words and a constipation of ideas. - Unknown

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

The lion is ashamed, it's true, when he hunts with the fox. - Gotthold E. Lessing

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Therefore, it is necessary to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Rectitude: The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair


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