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Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook

If she hasn't yet, she soon will...

Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook thanks to Roy Taylor

Secrets of the Serengeti Grill

'Patience is required when hunting humans. If you harvest them at the wrong time they taste like crap.'

QuotaBills
Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Daniel: The founder of the Lions Club - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. - Walter Winchell

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

Rectitude: The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


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