Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Daniel: The founder of the Lions Club - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Rise and rise again until lambs become lions. - Robin Hood

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

When spiderwebs unite, they can halt even the lion. - African Proverb

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle