Family Car

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

The rich man has more relations than he knows. - French Proverb

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning. - Leo Tolstoy

A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde