I'm using my barbecue this weekend, so I thought I'd clean it up. I knew there were bees coming from under the cover so I thought I'd kill them...
I thought I'd suffocate/smoke them out. So here's the weapon of choice...
Now I know these 'control bombs' aren't for bees, but I designed my delivery system to be easily maneuvered under the cover of darkness. So then I release the weapon of buzz destruction...
The sound from under the cover was incredible - you could hear it 3m away! Then I ran like the clappers - came back a few minutes later to see the death toll...
There was at least a 20mm wide mass grave!
I continued to remove the cover to light the barbecue when I noticed some fatty-looking substance on the top of the side shelf thingy... Bit weird... I cleaned it before I put it away for the winter and no way was there fat there - so I begun to wonder...
We think the queen flew away. Either that or a small child has wings and has been living in the hive 'cause that thing was huge...
Be sure to check your grill this spring!
What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman
Nature is not a place to visit. It is home. - Gary Snyder
Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker
Marrying is easy - it's housework that's hard. - Proverb
There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. - Jane Austen
Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown
He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible
I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse
A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees
Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan
There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates
Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom) - Archie Bunker
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
That's the best part of going away for a vacation - coming home again. - Madeleine L'Engle
Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. - Robert Frost
Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They jest can't buzz any slower. - Kin Hubbard
The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert
Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley
A person is happiest whether they be rich or poor, when there is peace in their home. - Unknown
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright
I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery
If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright
People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home. - Dagobert D. Runes
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams
Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock
A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein
Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe
Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown
If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright
The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren