Hippy Birthday

The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

On my 85th birthday, I felt like a 20-year-old. But there wasn't one around. - Milton Berle

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield