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Husband of the Year

Ole shared everything with his wife - even his work

Husband of the Year thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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