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Husband of the Year

Ole shared everything with his wife - even his work

Husband of the Year thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow's next husband. - American Proverb

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


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