#1 humor site on the 'net

Ice Fountain

Where not to drink on a cold winter day

Ice Fountain thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When your tongue meets frozen metal

QuotaBills
RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up if thou wilt ever dig. - Marcus Aurelius

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry


Scooter Hearse

Thailand Ferry

Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub