#1 humor site on the 'net

Ice Fountain

Where not to drink on a cold winter day

Ice Fountain thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When your tongue meets frozen metal

QuotaBills
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend


Organ Donor

Moldy Bible

Gyprock Prayer

Barn Art

Submarine Tea

NAACP Cover Up

Quad Shot

Princess Parking

Restaurant Wait-er

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Butterfly Lens

Pentecost Sunday

Pike Mouth Nest

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence

Horse-Back Riding