Legal Grounds

Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Do you not know that I am above the law? - James II

A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Lawyers are ideological enemies of informal justice. - Richard L Abel

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

The ablest lawyers are always associated with the biggest fees. - Clarence Darrow

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them. - Karen M Moning

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Lawyers are like cheeses. There are lots of good ones, but not everybody likes the taste of some or can afford the best of others. - Robin Ellison

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda