#1 humor site on the 'net

Legal Grounds

Anyone for a Murderous Mocha or an Equal Rights Espresso?

Legal Grounds thanks to Karen Moore

Blending latte with legalese at fees that leave little room for dessert

QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

Lawyers are seldom loved but often needed. - Robert B McKay

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman

Lawyers are like beavers. They get in the mainstream and dam it up. - John Naisbitt

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Lawyers are like the knights of old. You can use them to plunder other people's stuff. - Gene Gordon

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France


First Computer Cursor

Arsenic Wafers

Car Surgeon

Rust-ic Truck

Aisle Cleanup

Camouflage Garage

World's First Laser Pointer

Patio Losers

Tetris Cake

Tower of Hammocks

Dead Batteries

Cheers!

Roger That

What Day Is It?

Blinker Fluid

Temple Car

Family Birthday Reminder

Coffee Days

New Audi

Netherlands Parking Lot

Wine Bibber

Tylenol Ban

Politician Plane

Seaweed Burger