Mom Tested, Mom Approved

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

As is the mother, so is her daughter. - Bible

Fearlessness is the mother of reinvention. - Arianna Huffington

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

Bagdad: What mother did when she met father - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. - Sophocles

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. - Spanish Proverb

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

A mother understands what a child does not say. - Jewish Proverb

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. - Oprah Winfrey

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. - Unknown

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. - Jay Leno

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation. - Robert A. Heinlein

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

Modern Mother: One who worries if her daughter gets in too early - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

Mother is a verb. It's something you do. Not just who you are. - Dorothy C Fisher

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

A mother is your first friend, your best friend, your forever friend. - Unknown

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

God pardons like a mother who kisses the offense into everlasting forgiveness. - Henry Ward Beecher

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

Antifreeze: What happens to your mother's sister when you steal her blanket - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

My nickname is 'Mom', but my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' - Unknown

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

My mom always said, "Don't say if I make it", say, "When I make it!" - Mariah Carey

Modern Pioneer: The mother who manages to get through a rainy Saturday with the T.V. not working - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. - Samuel Smiles

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

A mother's heart, a mother's faith, and a mother's steadfast love were fashioned by the angels and sent from God above. - Unknown

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren