Mom Tested, Mom Approved

Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Leisure is the Mother of Philosophy. - Thomas Hobbes

As is the mother, so is her daughter. - Bible

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

Inner silence is the mother of all talents. - Ravi Shankar

A mother is a daughter's first best friend. - Unknown

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate. - Unknown

Mother's Life: One darned stocking after the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

Modern Mother: One who worries if her daughter gets in too early - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

If I didn't have you as a mom, I'd choose you as a friend. - Unknown

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

We laugh, we cry, we make time fly. We are best friends, my mom and I. - Unknown

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

Antifreeze: What happens to your mother's sister when you steal her blanket - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

Modern Pioneer: The mother who manages to get through a rainy Saturday with the T.V. not working - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's a reason some people think they can achieve anything. They listened to their mother. - Unknown

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it's too late to let her know that he sees it. - W D Howells

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. - Samuel Smiles

My mother reads the obituary page every day, but she could never understand how people always die in alphabetical order. - Frank Carson

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

A mother's heart, a mother's faith, and a mother's steadfast love were fashioned by the angels and sent from God above. - Unknown

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten