Mom Tested, Mom Approved

Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Mother lode of learning. - Neal A Maxwell

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

Mother's Life: One darned stocking after the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. - Unknown

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray. - Irv Kupcinet

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation. - Robert A. Heinlein

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. - Abraham Lincoln

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

A mother is a story with no beginning. That is what defines her. - Meghan O'Rourke

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

My mother was my role model before I even knew what that word was. - Lisa Leslie

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Antifreeze: What happens to your mother's sister when you steal her blanket - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed. - Linda Wooten

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child, and someone special to love someone more than herself. - Unknown

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren