#1 humor site on the 'net

New Player

Premiere League Foosball with kick start option

New Player thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Foosball equivalent to a golf handicap

QuotaBills
There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

Sometimes a girl's gotta have some chocolate. - Carrie Underwood

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve. - Ring Lardner

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42. - WC Fields

I'm the girl who lost her reputation and never missed it. - Mae West

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl. - Charlie Chaplin

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. - Stephen Leacock

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

Tease: A girl who is always thinking of a man’s happiness, and how to prevent it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

A little girl is sugar and spice and everything nice - especially when she's taking a nap. - Unknown

I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. - Julia Roberts

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

After all, inside every woman, no matter how grown up she is, there is still a frightened little girl. - Sergei Lukyanenko

Boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. - Jack Handey

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

I don't think much of a dance step where the girl looks like she was being carried out of a burning building. - Kin Hubbard

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always enjoyed feeling afraid. I think it is the most delicious feeling there is. - Domingos Monteiro

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree

Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe

Mayweather Momma

What's Holding You Back?

Final Exams In North Korea

ORCAstraighted