Redneck Holiday

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. - Shunryi Suzuki-roshi

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' - Steven Wright

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore. - Dale Carnegie

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown