Redneck Holiday

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Up the creek in a boat with a hole. - Archie Bunker

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

When you get on the boat that's saving you, don't pull up the ladder behind you. - Adrienne Clarkson

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

If a man must be obsessed by something, I suppose a boat is as good as anything, perhaps a bit better than most. - E.B. White

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend