Redneck Holiday

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Up the creek in a boat with a hole. - Archie Bunker

You're gonna need a bigger boat. - Jaws

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Quicksand: Beach where motor races are held - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Middle age is when, wherever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater. - Denis Norden

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When you get on the boat that's saving you, don't pull up the ladder behind you. - Adrienne Clarkson

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore. - Dale Carnegie

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com