#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Watch

Ask Bubba what time it is!

Redneck Watch thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Turn Bubba's charm bracelet backwards and you're a winner every day!

QuotaBills
Loiter: Not now - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's only now. - Bill Murray

Good things take time. - John Wooden

McCarthyism is now McCarthywasm. - Dwight D Eisenhower

You may delay, but time will not. - Benjamin Franklin

Now is the winter of our discontent - William Shakespeare

Now you know the rest of the story. - Paul Harvey

Time is the devourer of everything. - Ovid

Now, young Skywalker... you will die. - The Emperor

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

I'm sympathising my watch with yours. - Archie Bunker

I am 46, and have been for some time past. - Anita Brookner

Why, when I am talking, does time seem to fly? - Bob Grant

Tomorrow is often the busiest time of the year. - Spanish Proverb

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. - Shaun Alexander

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. - Theophrastus

Don't watch the clock, do what it does. Keep going. - Sam Levenson

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it. - Amish Saying

One thing at a time. Most important thing first. Start now. - Caroline Webb

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. - Bill Watterson

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time. - Marilyn Monroe

Do it now! Sometimes 'later' becomes 'never'. - Unknown

Come what may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day. - William Shakespeare

Living is using time given to you. You cannot recall lost time. - Pokemon

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

He who has done his best for his own time has lived for all times. - Friedrich Schiller

Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. - Jean Paul Richter

Time is a vindictive bandit to steal the beauty of our former selves. - Raphael

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once. - Woody Allen

What ends in a W, has no beginning, and is always in the present? Now. - Jarod Kintz

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted. - Unknown

You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it. - Charles Buxton

Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. - Louis XIV

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin

Irony is the form of paradox. Paradox is what is good and great at the same time. - Karl W F Schlegel

I enjoy the spring more than the autumn now. One does, I think, as one gets older. - Virginia Woolf

Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed. - Peter F Drucker

There was never yet a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous. - Abraham Lincoln

Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its brevity. - Jean de la Bruyere

Often we have no time for our friends, but all the time in the world for our enemies. - Billy Joel

Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be. - Eckhart Tolle

By the time a man gets to be presidential material, he's been bought ten times over. - Gore Vidal

No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses - one vaccine at a time, over time. - Donald Trump

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

It is not easy to be crafty and winsome at the same time, and few accomplish it after the age of six. - John W. Gardner

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. - Dorothy L Sayers

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. - Frank Zappa

The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done, you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do. - Lil Wayne

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

'Till death do us part' doesn't sound so horrible. It only means about 10 or 15 years and not the eternity it used to mean. - Joy Behar

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

Time is of of no account with great thoughts, which are as fresh today as when they first passed through their authors' minds ages ago. - Samuel Smiles

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

Q: When is the perfect time?
A: Who can say, but probably somewhere between haste and delay - and it's usually most wise to start today. - Rasheed Ogunlaru

Have a bias towards action - let's see something happen now. You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away. - Indira Gandhi

Deadlines aren't bad. They help you organize your time. They help you set priorities. They make you get going when you might not feel like it. - Harvey Mackay

The future rewards those who press on. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. I don't have time to complain. I'm going to press on. - Barack Obama

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon

Pringle Art

Lodge Welcome

Holstein or Holestein?

Dead Poirot

Restroom Fragrance

Word Puzzle Clock

Scenic Western Pennsylvania

Free Nobel Peace Prize

Teach Our Children Well

Stair Substitute

Solar System Watch

Puppy Love

Zipbridge

Today's Bathroom Reader

Mustache Soother