#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Watch

Ask Bubba what time it is!

Redneck Watch thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Turn Bubba's charm bracelet backwards and you're a winner every day!

QuotaBills
Time heals what reason cannot. - Seneca

Insects all business all the time. - David Foster Wallace

Now, young Skywalker... you will die. - The Emperor

What we love to do we find time to do. - John Spaulding

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead. - Hans Christian Andersen

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Next time you give your clothes away, stay in them. - Henny Youngman

Now if we only knew why, we would have the mind of God. - Stephen Hawking

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. - Steven Wright

At 46 one must be a miser; only have time for essentials. - Oscar Wilde

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

When was the last time you did something for the first time? - Unknown

The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in. - Lord Chesterfield

It is the hour to rend thy chains, the blossom time of souls. - Katharine L Bates

You can take a chance with any man who pays his bills on time. - Terence

Players with fight never lose a game, they just run out of time. - John Wooden

Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later. - Og Mandino

When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time. - Byron Katie

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. - Will Rogers

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile. - Lynda Barry

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time. - Mark Twain

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

Elected leaders who forget how they got there won't the next time. - Malcolm Forbes

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure it's fun to watch. - MGM Grand Hotel

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock. - Sigmund Freud

Time is the brush of God, as he paints his masterpiece on the heart of humanity. - Ravi Zacharias

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Do we need more time? Or do we need to be more disciplined with the time we have? - Kerry Johnson

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. - Tom Robbins

The only time you don't fail is the last time you try anything - and it works. - William Strong

Leap year gives me extra time to reflect on how unproductive I am with extra time. - Homer Simpson

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

If I've learned nothing else, it's that time and practice equal achievement. - Andre Agassi

Time passes too fast. Like a hummingbird flying by, it's just a blur to my eyes. - Amanda Leigh

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

If we were born knowing everything, what would we do with all this time on this earth? - Nelly

Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. - E.B. White

Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. - Rick Warren

I can't turn the clock back but I can seek the forgiveness of those I've wronged. - Richard Coles

I'm just a lucky slob from Ohio who happened to be in the right place at the right time. - Clark Gable

Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time. - Viktor Frankl

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me his watch. - Woody Allen

No artist is ahead of his time. He is his time. It is just that the others are behind the time. - Martha Graham

The months and days are the travelers of eternity. The years that come and go are also voyagers. - Matsuo Basho

I was tame compared to what they do now. Are you kidding? I didn't do anything but just jiggle. - Elvis Presley

Time will discover everything to posterity. It is a babbler, and speaks even when no question is put. - Euripides

The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar. - Jimi Hendrix

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened. - Unknown

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo? - Jacques Plante

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. It messes with your mind and steals your happiness. - Unknown

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared. - Unknown

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Ventriloquist Isolation

Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

PEI Weather

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Shopping With Your Husband

Where is Waldo?

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

July 4th Balloon

Maritime Treat

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Reflective Art

Canadian Drive-Thru

Work At Home Mom

German Car Parkade

Dog Face or Dog Butt?

Trunk Minions

Despicable Watermelon

New Parking Spot For Women

Popcorn Cremation

Time Is Free

Fishing Trip in New Zealand

Happy 4th of July