Redneck Water Skiing

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. - Steven Wright

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown