Redneck Water Skiing

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

The conscious water saw its Master and blushed. - Alexander Pope

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. - Steven Wright

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson